Jennifer0414

Wow buddyslim has gotten really slow again. Still so glad to be back

 Yesterday I met up with a gf after work and we went for a walk/run. Then she made me dinner of whole wheat pasta, veggies and parmesan. YUM!!! It is so nice to workout with a friend. Plus the girl chat was fun too!!

I went home had a bath and wasn’t able to keep my eyes open for long. I cannot wait to get on the scale Monday and see my progress. All my plans for this weekend are still up in the air.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Yesterday I worked out with Chrissie and what an improvement from Monday. Two things I think played a major factor. Since I ate like crap all weekend I REALLY felt it Monday, it was awful. This weekend I will eat well I cannot deal with that again Monday. And number two was I had a protein bar as a snack in the afternoon instead of my normal granola bar. I really needed it, Monday I was hungry during the workout. Chrissie even told me I “looked smaller” THANK YOU!!!!

I was meeting a friend for dinner after the workout, I even put on make-up and wore my boots….. I felt GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I ordered a chicken wrap LIGHT ON THE SAUCE. It was really good and I felt good about my choice.

Tonight I am meeting a friend to go jogging and it is suppose to be 26C.

Well I slept in this morning and didn’t workout last night as I was running off 3 hours of sleep but I feel so refreshed. I know that was an excuse and Chrissie will probably give me sh$t tonight but it was worth it.

Normally when I don’t work out and have a “lazy day” I eat really bad. But I had curried lentil soup and toast for dinner. I am happy about that. I think I am making some progress plus I haven’t stepped on the scale since Monday :)…

Tonight I am meeting a girlfriend for dinner. I really don’t want to go out for another dinner but I will make the best of it. Next week I will not eat out during the week!!!

I asked for next Friday off so I can go see Jan and it was approved. I CANNOT WAIT!!!

Boring blog sorry!

Yesterday was a shitty day, was seriously very close to telling my boss to stuff it. Not only did he hang the phone up on me, like come on??? But he bitched at me for 30 minutes over the most ridiculous thing. Then he called back to apologize and say he is going to be a better boss. UGGGG

This morning I am dealing with the same shit. I’m holding my head high, I can get throuh this!!!

 The workout with Chrissie last night was hard. Almost to hard, does that make sence?? I felt disappointed in myself that I couldn’t do a lot of the things. I could barely do 1 sets of reps let alone 3. Chrissie told me to put the scale away for a week, and it is already put away :)…

Time to get back to the grind!

Not a happy blog today, I don’t even want to blog but I told myself I will try to blog Monday-Friday so here it is.

This weekend was hard, harder then I ever thought it could be. I went to step Saturday morning which is really the only good thing about the whole weekend. Probably the only reason I had a loss this morning. A loss I did not deserve after my binges on Saturday and Sunday evening.

Tonight I see Chrissie and my calves are still burning from step. Should be interesting. Step was sooooooooooooo hard, didn’t think i’d make it.

I am soooo glad the weekend is over, I am so emotionally exhausted.

Yesterday I made EVERY excuse to workout!!! But 3 lovely ladies wouldn’t take no for an answer. To be honest a major reason I worked out was because I didn’t want to come admitt I didn’t workout, AGAIN… I went to the gym and did 30 minutes on the treadmill and 15 minutes on some other wierd new machine. It did feel good, I haven’t sweat like that in awhile :)…

Then I rushed home had a veggie burger and salad and went and seen Easy A with  friend. It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO funny. There was something in the movie that reminded me of quading, something that Barrie did a lot of. It was the first time since the break up that I have really missed him. I really have not been thinking of him at all…. Missing him is normal I guess, I just know he is not right for me.. Prince charming will be out there somewhere.

I finally slept last night I woke up at 5!!!! I feel so much better today

My plans for this weekend are pretty much up in there air, I just plan to keep myself busy. Maybe a few cocktails!!!

Again I have been MIA, I should be known as the MIA buddyslimmer. I always come back though, I just wasn’t ready to “share” my life and struggles. I’ve had some great friends there to listen to me bitch!!

I was facing some ridiculous binges and I felt like I couldn’t stop. It was daily, I’d get off work go to the store and bring my bag of goodies home. I just wanted to be alone in my room and eat eat eat. It was like I needed it to make me feel better, but it only made me feel worse. Then I started to think about what was REALLY causing me to feel what I was feeling and why I was so lonely.

I finally had to admitt that my relationship was not what I wanted. I wanted more to one day get married ect ect ect. I flat out asked Barrie if he knew I was the person he wanted to marry and he said “I don’t know”. After 2 years I am walking away, it hurt like hell but I knew it was coming. It was like I have prepared myself for this for the last few months. I cried, was really upset then I felt this crazy sence of relief. Like finally I am free to do what I WANT… Put myself first, be selfish for once…

Chrissie gave me this book on overeating and it really hits home. The first chapter I read I started to cry cause I finally felt like I wasn’t alone and it’s not me. I really am doing ok, huge change but I will get used to it. I am not sleeping and I hope that changes soon but other then that I am actually happy. I am keeping myself busy and I haven’t binged all week :)..

I am not even going to talk about the things that didn’t go right last night. I made dinner and it was delicious with lots of fresh veggies and we even went for a short walk. This morning I got on the scale and it scared the ($&%(#)# out of me. Enough Jennifer enough…………

Goals

(1) Limit eating out to once a week

(2) 3 meals every day

(3) Strength 2 times a week cardio 2 times

(4) Don’t put junk in my body

(5) write everything down

Tonight I see Chrissie, I feel like a whale.. I kind of hope she see’s it too. The other night one of my roommates friends told me how awesome I look and great job on keeping it off. What a liar I felt like, yes I hold it well cause I am 5′11 but I feel disgusting.

Yesterday was an emotional roller coaster. Friggen TOM!!!!!!!!!!!! I think his bags are packed, finally!!! The boss man was on my case all day and I had to go for a breather more then a few times.

Last night I ate the left over nibs and chocolate from the night before. We went boating last night and I grabbed subway for dinner so that was an improvement. But still I overate and I know it. I felt like blah…………

Tonight Barrie is coming out and I will make a Thai dish for dinner with lots of veggies. I will also get a workout in even if it is 10 minutes… (thanks Lori)

Tomorrow I see Chrissie and hopefully we can set up a schedule that will work!!

Here is a pic I took last night with my phone:

I wish I was coming on here to report a great workout and healthy eats but it is the complete opposite. I never made it to the gym and had one of my biggest binges. I could come up with every excuse in the book but I wont. The sad truth was I was tired and “emotional”, stopped by the grocery store on the way home from work and picked up some “friends” to spend the evening with. What a sad life…. After stuffing myself I napped all night, I was really not in a good place last night. TOM probably has a lot to do with it. But also realizing how hard this is….. No one ever said it was easy, and I know I can do it… Tonight I am suppose have dinner and go see a movie with Barrie (something we NEVER do) but I might ask him to come out here for dinner and then I can at least get a walk in.

I don’t know.